It began as a typical Thursday at the office.
I was having a bad day of a sort for no real reason, other than I couldn't get my emotions under control. Close to lunch, I decided to cheer myself up by visiting bright and colorful Web sites featuring cats doing funny things.
I clicked on a random link, and suddenly, the computer stopped responding to me. Then, a horrible low-pitched whine emanated from the speaker.
"Oh my God, what is that?" Sylvia, my cubicle neighbor said, covering her ears.
"I don't know!" I yelled back, my hands around my ears as well.
The sound infected the normally quiet office. It was impossible to get anything done, and my co-workers soon huddled around my cubicle to see what the noise was. In a matter of seconds, the fluorescent lights flickered out, and a pinkish glow bounced off the walls of the cubicles. Russell from Human Resources gasped. Each and every monitor flashed obscene images.
Mitch, the IT technician, making his best effort to act nonchalant, brusquely disconnected my computer from its power source. Nothing changed, and the drone continued. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead.
At our wits' end, and with no logical options left to pursue, we decided to throw my computer and monitor out the window, in hopes that by destroying the source of evil, we would be able to save the rest of our equipment. After all, it had worked in several cheesy horror movies, Chris, a project manager, had pointed out.
All our hopes sailed down five stories and suddenly became small, shiny pieces. But the drone persisted, disembodied, and confined to the general area of my cubicle. Scenes of unspeakable sexual acts, some involving castor oil, the cast of "Cats", and a wallaby, had been burned into our eyes even though they were no longer displayed on any of the monitors, which were now functioning normally. However, we were far from any kind of normalcy. We were mercifully let off work early that day.
My cubicle was vacated on Friday, and I was reassigned to another floor. The noise remained. The visions too. A priest was called in on Monday to exorcize the spot. We all witnessed how in doing so, he spontaneously combusted, leaving behind the smell of roses, and in place of the horrible noise, the pleasant chirping of birds.
His charred remains were flown to the Vatican, and we returned to business as usual.
